roundtop: idk why people are surprised i have trust issues when we live in a world where sometimes naps just make you more tired
“i need to stop,” i whispered as i clicked next episode.
64kbps: a game with women with functional armor and guys prancing around in iron speedos
Me: *correctly gives example*
Professor: No it's - *proceeds to repeat me word for word*
grapfruit: you know when you get an A on a paper you did the night before it was due
dinotrash: god twerks in mysterious ways
dionsuars: the prayer - bloc party
Call Me Maybe starts playing on the radio
me: oh my god not again
me: I THREW A WISH IN THE WELL DON'T ASK ME I'LL NEVER TELL
How to stay in a relationship.
They say: we need to talk
you: no we don't.
Best pick-up line ever.
buthi: “Let’s go eat, I’m paying.”
So, I pull over to the side of the road and heard
Cop: Son, do you know what I'm stopping you for?
Me: Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low? Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know. Am I under arrested or should I guess some more?
Cop: Well, you was doing 55 in the 54. License and registration and step out of the car. Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are.
Me: I ain't stepping out shit, all my paper's legit.
Cop: Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?
Me: Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back, and I know my rights so you gon need a warrant for that.
Cop: Aren't you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something? Somebody important or something?
Me: Well, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit, enough that you won't illegally search my shit.
Cop: Well, we'll see how smart you are when the canine come.
sweetsassymollassy: allons-ytobakerstreet: ...
thedandyunderworld: Taking place in England the owners of the yard slowly kept adding sections to the contraption so when the squirrel learned one section and got the nuts, they’d add another section. It took over 2 weeks to get to the final product you see in the video.
xoxogossipgill: if yahoo answers can’t solve your problem then you are in too deep
why do i have to be so ticklish
and why do my friends have to have found this out and use it against me to bring me to my cackling surrender
emilyisobsessed: Leslie Knope tries impressions and accents